For those who haven't heard Pete lost his battle yesterday. Initially when we got to the hospital on Friday he was doing well on the vent and they thought they would be able to get him weaned off. After my last post he really started struggling to breath even on the vent. They sedated him and let the vent do more work but he wasn't able to get enough carbon dioxide out. I knew things weren't looking good but the docs assured me they had it under control, it wasn't that bad.
Then around 12:45 pm he suddenly crashed, they tried for an hour to revive him but couldn't. He had a bilateral pneumothorax, in layman term both of his lungs collapsed, which caused his heart to stop. The docs tried so hard to revive him and we knew this was always a possibility with the disease he had.
Everyone did what we should have done, Pete's lungs were just done. They couldn't do it any more.
I had a very dear friend with me through the trauma, probably the best person to stand by me while my heart was ripped opened. There aren't words to describe this pain.
Pete and I said everything we needed to say to each other along time ago and we just kept saying those things over and over. He loved me more than I will ever know and will be with me as I continue to live my life as I promised I would. I told him I would go on but I would be so sad, he said that was ok.
So I challenge all of you to be sad, yes, our hearts are breaking, but he wants us to go on, be bold, enjoy life, live each breath to the fullest. Please continue to spread the word of organ donation.
I know you are all wrapping me up with a big blanket of love. We need it right now. We don't need much else right now but will be asking for everything I need.