Thursday, December 26, 2013

Christmas Greetings

If I were Pete, yesterday morning I would have been furiously downloading photos, the perfect Christmas song, and would have written and reread the text for the perfect Smilebox card at least five times.  It would drive me crazy, his perfection, his procrastination, his propensity for taking a shower ten minutes before we were supposed to leave for Christmas Eve Mass.  Instead after all the festivities are over, the kids are asleep, and here I am attempting to send out some sort of Christmas greeting.  If you are reading this there is no need to update you on our past year as one does in a Christmas card.  

I do feel the need to let you know that I appreciate all the kindness, messages of concern and love you have been sending to our family.  In general I know I have remained out of touch to preserve my energy, allow time to think and feel.  I know everyone understands these needs.  

Today was, of course, a hard day but I couldn't help but be grateful for the love that we had and the love that remains.  

Be who you are, Be present to those who you are with and Love the best way you can.

In peace and deep seeded joy.

Monday, December 16, 2013

Words of Rememberance

Many have asked for the beautiful words that Pete's brother and sister shared at the funeral. I was shocked at the poise they had as they shared their reflections. It added so much to the beautiful celebration we had for Pete's life. Thank you Jeremy and Katie for your words and for taking me in as a sister. Pete continues to bless me with the family he welcomed me into.

Katie's reflection

Before he was a father, before he was a formal educator, before he was a physical therapist, before he was a husband, EVEN before he was a runner, Pete has always been a baseball player. Growing up baseball was his thing. There were daily pick-up games in our yard, weekly allowances spent on baseball cards, dinner conversations about batting averages, he even went as far as discussing the game while sleep walking.

In typical Pete fashion, he didn’t just play the game; he put his all into it. I can attest to this because being five years his minor, I was given the ‘gift’ of witnessing hundreds of games and the hours he spent at the batting cage, practicing switch hitting and mastering his knuckleball.

While I had the opportunity to perfect my friendship bracelet making skills on the bleachers, Pete's hard work paid off in a much more notable way. His focus, drive and determination led him to pitch a perfect game. An achievement many pitchers never accomplish let alone at a young age.

Years of pitching resulted in an elbow injury that shifted his focus to cross country and cultivated his interest in sports medicine and then physical therapy. Despite this shift in direction, his passion for the game remained consistent over the years. He continued to listen to Reds games on the radio and instilled his love of baseball in both Adah and Eamon.

I cherish the family vacations we attended minor league baseball games and cheering on the Reds at Great American Ballpark this past summer. While I have so many wonderful memories with Pete, the baseball ones will always be special.

Our left-hander has rounded third and is home.

Jeremy's reflection

The great thing about having a brother is they give you your first friend and your first rival.

Pete and I rode bikes and raced matchbox cars as friends. And there was also that time in middle school when fate smiled on me and my ping pong paddle and I somehow beat Pete twelve straight times. Beating him once was usually hard enough, so I would have been content with three or four in a row… but Pete refused to let me go upstairs until he finally won one.

But besides being my first friend and rival, Pete was also my hero.

He taught me how to choke up on a baseball bat, and never to give up walks to the bottom of the batting order.
He coached me in eighth-grade track and told me I would find that I could run harder, even if I was already hurting.
He showed me that high school was more rewarding when you also wrote for the school paper, joined the student diversity club, performed in musicals, and went on a mission trip to Mexico… all past-times that, in true little brother fashion, I eagerly took up right behind him.

As we got older, his example became more challenging to follow.

When he visited Boston University before his senior year, we went running and he lit into me for training only a couple days a week for the coming cross country season. “If you’re going to do something, he said, do it. Don’t sort of do it.”
A couple years later, I was having just an ugly, ugly cry in my bedroom, and he challenged me to describe why I was so heartbroken over this particular girl. You may be shocked to learn that at fifteen years old, I didn’t have much more than, Well, she’s cute. She was nice, too.
Pete put on his big brother pants and told me, wise and direct: No. Look at me and Eileen, he said. Family and faith are important to her. She shares my passion for social justice. We love sports, being active. If I wanted a special kind of happiness, he said, I had to be discerning. He was about to turn 19 as he said all this. Pete was my hero, because at no point in his life did he ever settle for anything less than exceptional.

Recently, as his lungs got weaker and his life got harder, he was able to do less than he wanted. He had to let some things go, as crazy as it surely made him.
But he never complained, at least not publicly. He didn’t pity himself. Or show any fear.

Even as he was forced to do less, he demonstrated resolve, grit. Grace. Only Peter Mosher could take doing less and find a way to somehow do more.

I witnessed his passion to demand more out of oneself… and the best out of life.
I know I’m still a work in progress… how could one not be, when Pete Mosher’s your big brother?

And the best out of life? Well, Pete Mosher’s my big brother.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Obituary

Peter Mosher took his final breath December 7th, 2013 – 32 years of age. He left behind his beloved wife and partner of 15 years, Eileen (nee McGrath) and two beautiful children Adah and Eamon. He was cherished by his parents Kevin and Peggy, his brother Jeremy and sister Katie (Andrew Wright) and grandparents Mary and Roger Pierson. He will be so missed by the numerous members of his Pierson, Mosher, and McGrath-Seiffert families. Pete was a remarkable human who left this world a much better place and touched the lives of so many across this country and world in such a short time. His impression was left on so many in the St. Xavier, Saint Louis University, St. Clare, Mount St. Joseph, and College Hill communities. His students and colleagues admired and respected him. He excelled in all he did and the world will not be the same without him. The most important remembrance of Pete, though, is to register as a Organ Donor! Visitation will be at St. Clare Church (1443 Cedar Avenue, Cincinnati, OH 45224) on Friday, December 13th from 4:00pm until 8:00pm. Mass of Christian Burial Saturday 10:30am location is pending. Neidhard-Minges Funeral Home is handling the arrangements.

Sunday, December 8, 2013

He fought a good fight but his lungs could do no more.

For those who haven't heard Pete lost his battle yesterday.  Initially when we got to the hospital on Friday he was doing well on the vent and they thought they would be able to get him weaned off.  After my last post he really started struggling to breath even on the vent.  They sedated him and let the vent do more work but he wasn't able to get enough carbon dioxide out.  I knew things weren't looking good but the docs assured me they had it under control, it wasn't that bad.

Then around 12:45 pm he suddenly crashed, they tried for an hour to revive him but couldn't.  He had a bilateral pneumothorax, in layman term both of his lungs collapsed, which caused his heart to stop.  The docs tried so hard to revive him and we knew this was always a possibility with the disease he had.

Everyone did what we should have done, Pete's lungs were just done. They couldn't do it any more.

I had a very dear friend with me through the trauma, probably the best person to stand by me while my heart was ripped opened.  There aren't words to describe this pain.

Pete and I said everything we needed to say to each other along time ago and we just kept saying those things over and over.  He loved me more than I will ever know and will be with me as I continue to live my life as I promised I would.  I told him I would go on but I would be so sad, he said that was ok.

So I challenge all of you to be sad, yes, our hearts are breaking, but he wants us to go on, be bold, enjoy life, live each breath to the fullest.  Please continue to spread the word of organ donation.

I know you are all wrapping me up with a big blanket of love.  We need it right now.  We don't need much else right now but will be asking for everything I need.

Friday, December 6, 2013

Fighter

Have I ever mentioned how amazing Pete Mosher is?  Well this guy is a fighter.  Last night he fought for each breath for three hours, trying to suck down enough oxygen to avoid being intubated.  He was so tired that he needed a break, so after being told by me and the ER doctor that it was ok to take a break, he chose to be intubated.  So as I write this Pete is on the vent (breathing machine) but is already being slowly weaned after just eight hours. 

This most recent crash was preceded by four days of low grade fevers, a really bad cough, and shear exhaustion.  So the transplant team and ICU docs are hard at work to find out what is the cause of this infection.  After getting into the ICU this morning I am totally confident in the team here at Barnes.  They are checking every specific medicine and have a special box of approved medicine that is milk and lactose free.  I feel so relieved to be here. 


So as always keep Pete in your thoughts and prayers.  I am sure Pete will have some deep thoughts about this most recent event and will present those thoughts with his usual elegance.  Until then, just the facts here.  Thanks for all the love and support being showered on our little family, we are not alone on this journey.

Friday, November 29, 2013

Gratitudes

A wife who remains ever-faithful and strong in sickness instead of health.

Children who can't wait to ride bikes, climb trees and run around with their Daddy.

58 birthday cards (and five dozen holy cookies) awaiting our daughter on her birthday.

Family driving six hours to celebrate Thanksgiving with us.

140 financial donors giving over $27,000 to support our family.

A second city that we know like home.

Reconnecting with dear friends and their growing families that time and distance had nudged away.

Texts, emails, phone calls or Facebook PMs just to say "Hi" (even if they aren't always returned).

Two faith communities where we belong and are supported. 

A reading group (Russian literature, Dostoevsky) that is stretching me cognitively, emotionally and spiritually.

A career and an employer that allow me the dignity of meaningful work away from home.

Insurance that covers quite a bit of my care and (so far) has treated me like a person and a patient more than a number and an actuarial statistic.

Skilled and caring professions making medical miracles every day.

14,013 organ donors and families that gave the gift of life last year.

A generous person and family who may be making that decision right now.

One breath,

then another,

another,

and another.